Love & Lessons Learned (a little too late)

What is love to most?  Honestly, what does love mean when considering commitment?  I’d say that most individuals relate “love” to their specific expectations at that present time.     Those expectations may be dependant on a variety of variables.     Maybe,  he/she didn’t laugh at ALL of your jokes during this routine nightly phone call.   Or, maybe, there’s a bit more silence in between spoken words.   Suddenly, a change so small, can become an issue, simply because, it’s not what is expected.     Sounds trivial, so far, I know.   I am going to share how I learned the truth about seeing the small things, all while missing the big picture.     I was taught the truth about loving the right way, but, it wasn’t until I lost it, that I understood.

I loved so passionately.   I honestly thought the man hung the moon…  well, let’s just say that I knew this guy could  name the stars, planets, galexies, and, so on….    I would genuinely get lost in his wonder, as he’d be looking up into the night sky, going from one interesting piece of information to another ..  gladly sharing with me what he felt so passionately about.      I can remember losing thought, and, drifting into my own wonder…  Him.     As he’d speak, my mind was busy with thoughts of amazement..   And, disbelief, because, he was mine.   He loved me as much as I loved him.    It was the real thing.   I would thank God in prayer without him even knowing…   and, then, I’d focus back to his words.     Yes, there is no doubt, I truly believed that I loved him.    However, he would tell me a different meaning of love.    His meaning of love hurt my feelings, at first.   He told me that there is no “falling into love”.   He claimed that there wasn’t some magical feeling, but, that I shouldn’t be discouraged by that.    He told me about how love, to him, was a choice.    A commitment.    I was terrified by that.    I knew that he could choose not to love me just as easily as he chose to commit to loving me.    However, I was aware of his dedication and loyalty.    Plus,  surely that couldn’t have been completely true.     He may say it’s a choice, but, after a while, it becomes your emotions, right!?   No.     Me, being highly emotionally needy to him, I had great expectations.    They were not reasonable.  I reacted by emotion.    That man shared with me his knowledge of how we are NOT TO REACT BY EMOTION.     We are to know that the heart is deceitful.      Our actions should ALWAYS BE consistent, respectful, and should not come from a place of uncalm emotions.  

I lost him.    He was my best friend.   He is the smartest man that I know.    He does everything  right.   The fact that he exists and I got to be apart of his life is the blessing of a lifetime.     I told him once that it was similar to someone else winning millions in lottery…   You know,  the odds?       I want others to know that relationships can last, and, not only can/will they last…  it can be wonderful.   But, it is a choice that you make…  each day.. even when you don’t feel like it…  Or, when you think your partner isn’t feeling or doing the same as before..     Communicate.   Talk about everything.     Work through every stinking, little issue.    Be friends.   Be patient.   Every. Single. Day.         Love is a choice that you make because that person is worth it to you.   Then, the both of you need to choose GOD .. daily.    

Advertisements